Friday, June 15, 2012

Watermelon Games

The best thing about summer is a great watermelon.  You might think that the worst thing about summer would be excessive heat or humidity or catching a cold or  bacteria in the lake, but you'd be wrong. The worst thing about summer is a watermelon that should be great but isn't.

And that's because you don't know if it's a good watermelon until you've actually cut into it. And there really can't be anything worse than the disappointment in finding that the watermelon you cut into isn't as delicious as it should be.

When I find a great watermelon, I like to play a game I call, "How much watermelon is too much watermelon?" Inevitably I find the answer as evidenced by the inability to put even one more bite into my mouth.

A little known side effect to this game is memory loss. In the case of this game, it means you get to play again because you actually forget how much watermelon is too much watermelon.

And before you suggest re-purposing an imperfect watermelon for other things, let me just say that other things that taste like watermelon aren't the same. Snow cones, Jolly Ranchers - it doesn't matter, they shouldn't even try to taste like a perfect watermelon because inevitably, they'll fail.

I'd write more, but I have a game to go play!.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Boca Burgers and Pie

I often make a Boca Burger for lunch. It's simple, fast, and a good excuse to eat homemade pickles. It's also one of the only times I use our microwave to actually "cook" something. Usually it's just a timer or maybe I reheat my coffee.

But I digress. I buy the packages of Boca Burgers from Costco, which means they're the big ones, not the ones that come from the regular grocery store. Why is that important? Because it means they take longer to heat up and so I flip them over mid-way through. And invariably when I flip it over, I reveal the grill marks. And every time I see them, I wonder how they got there. And then I think, how is it that every single time I stick a Boca Burger in the microwave, I put it grill marks-side down to start with?

Yes, I know that they are put there in the manufacturing process and not by using the microwave. But every single time, without intentionality, I put it in grill marks-side down. That's like rolling double sixes every time in backgammon. What are the chances?!

And it is March 14th, which means it's Pi Day. Which means that 8" apple pies at Whole Foods were only $3.14. I wouldn't ordinarily buy a pie but I somehow felt the need to celebrate. I did not also buy ice cream which eliminates the need to ask the ridiculous question "Pie or ice cream?"

Monday, January 23, 2012

My Father's Doppelganger

My father has both a Driver's License and a State ID. They were obtained on the same day, within two hours of each other at the same State office by my parents.

One has his weight at 180 and the other at 165. The other has his height at 5'3" and the other at 5'5". Both pictures make it look like he should be on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted List.

What is interesting about the FBI's list is that they haven't replaced the two people they've found. I think they should rename it the Eight Most Wanted....

In good news, I haven't received any additional speeding tickets.